I’m about to surprise EVERYONE.
Ready?

My optic nerve…..
Is………………….
Still. SWOLLEN.

After TWO doctor visits, it has been decided that the medication FAILED.
Failed miserably.
I am sad and elated at the same time.
That freaking medication was pure EVIL, but I really wanted it to work so that I could move along with my big life plans. I should have known better… but I was TRYING to be positive, and TRYING to have what is known as, “hope”. HA!

What a joke. No matter what my attitude is, the outcome is the same.
“Sorry Mrs. Nello. We just don’t know why you aren’t responding the medication. Let’s refer you to another doctor to make sure that we are even on the right path. (Are you kidding me right now? There may be a chance that I don’t even HAVE a pseudotumor??) I’ll give you a call when I have discussed your case with my colleague and at that point we’ll see what needs to be done.”
Awesome. Great. Fabulous.
I just love waiting.
And even more than that, I just looooooovee being a freak of nature.
I love it, I love it, I. Love. It.

I went off the evil medication two days ago and am starting to feel better. The nausea is fading, I no longer have to pee every two seconds, I am finally feeling “right” again, and the ugly “tingling” in my feet has subsided. It appears that the worsening of my RSD will be something I will get to deal with for who knows how long and I still am having issues getting to sleep, which is super annoying. But even more annoying than it taking about three hours to get to sleep every night? Ummmm, that would be that my vision is STILL getting worse. It is like looking out of disgustingly smudged eyeglasses. And it sucks. About a week ago, I gave up driving because I feel it is just no longer safe. I would never forgive myself if there was an accident while I was driving… especially if I had my kids with me. ~shudder~

So.
Needless to say, this stupid problem of mine has absolutely RUINED our summer.
Totally ruined it.
I feel so bad for my kids…

I have no idea when I will hear back from my doctor regarding this referral. I hope it is sooner than later… but you know, I have been on this road one to many times and I know it will be “later” that I hear. It will be “later” that I get an appointment with the new doctor. And it will be MUCH “later” that my “condition” will feel manageable. I may sound pessimistic, but I think I’m just being REAL about this.

Now I get to figure out how this new condition of mine is going to fit in my life.
How this is going to fit in my husband’s life.
How this is going to fit in my kids’ lives.
Because I don’t think this is going to go away anytime soon.

Let the fun begin.