Tyson- “Say, Happy Birthday Mommy!”

Kids- “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Yelled in unison while throwing themselves onto the nearest hard surface.)

They love me. I know they do.

Ummm. Where do I begin?
I ran away to my Mom’s house.
Okay. I didn’t so much “run” as my Mother drove seven hours up to my house, retrieved the kids and I, and then drove us seven hours back to her house. (Can you just taste all of the wonderful pathetic-ness?)

Why the run?
Because I’ve got this crappy thing called RSD, Simon had a week off of school, and Tyson is incredibly busy with work.
I’ve been here since last Thursday night and tonight, one week later, I am officially having some sort of breakdown. (read: Crying, bawling, crying, and more crying.)
I don’t exactly know what triggered this particular breakdown, but I’m just going to take a teeny-tiny shot in the dark and say that it is probably due to the fact that I am absolutely OVER the freaking nightmare I’ve been living for almost seven months.

Here’s what I’m saying: I.Can’t.Take.It.Any.More.
I am so at the end of my rope that when Britney freaking Spears shaved her head I thought, “Hmmm. I almost get that.”

I don’t freaking WANT to wear my damn Air-Cast anymore. I’m freaking SICK of limping around and I’m even MORE sick of staring at my ugly, discolored, swollen, broke-down foot. I don’t WANT to freaking take anymore manufactured medication because the side effects SUCK! My freaking face is blowing up (read: breaking out due to excessively dry skin), my hair is dry and na-NASTY, and I am having the some of the worst nightmares I have ever had. (And THAT is certainly saying something. Trust me.)

~sigh~
I’m also tired of being upset. I just want to be better. Is that too much to ask?
Sheesh. I’m so tired. If I could, I would go to bed and not get out until I wanted to. And seriously, who knows when that would be? Maybe a few days…. maybe a week.

Gah. I feel like I have a one hundred pound weight on my shoulders.
And I would really, really like to drop that stupid weight off of some cliff so I never have to see it again.

By the way….
I was recently alerted by Denise that my blog was/is having technical difficulties. Hopefully I have fixed whatever it was that was going on and in the future I would really encourage anyone and everyone to tell me when the Diary goes wonkers. Thanks.

The other day Tyson referred to me as “A toddler holding a cat”.

I don’t know about you, but I laughed my butt off…. even though it was a PURPOSEFUL knock on me.
I couldn’t help myself. I tried so hard to be mad at him, to give him my best hurt feelings look….
But I couldn’t.
I just kept picturing some jelly faced toddler with his fat arms wrapped around a cat right under it’s front legs and the poor cat being all pissed off because it’s belly is being shown to the world and it’s body is all stretched out while dangling an inch off the floor.

Oh. How I WISH I had a picture of this. I don’t know if my description did anything for you… but trust me. In my head. It.Was.HILARIOUS!
Oh. And it didn’t help that Tyson did his OWN impersonation of a toddler holding a cat.
Again. I WISH I had a picture.

Anyway. Despite that funny incident, things around here have been downright crapalicious.
My family has the full blown flu. And when I say “family”, I mean EVERY.BODY. in my house.
I’ve got to say, even though you may not want to know, that I have NEVER seen so much vomit in my entire life.
The flu needs to fly far away from my house.
Either that or it needs to learn how to do laundry.

Last week sucked.
I am thanking heaven every minute today that I am alive.
No. I didn’t have some near death scare… But I did have a level of pain that made me think that I was going to die.

I’m not going to go into the whole nightmare because geez. Who the hell wants to re-live that scene? Yeah. Not.Me.
But I will tell you that in my professional opinion RSD sucks.
I have just recovered from an entire week filled with hellish pain. That’s right. One.Entire.Week. And I know with all my heart that a miracle occurred last night around 9pm when the pain FINALLY subsided.

I haven’t talked about my foot for a while, so here is an update.
My foot is still swollen to the point that shoes are not a comfortable option. The stupid thing is still a loverly shade of red or purple-ish gray. (A real work of beauty, my foot is.) The color change and the burning, horrible, wretched pain is moving up my leg to just past my knee. Seriously. How happy does that make me? You got it. Not very.

The good news in this whole situation is that as of early last week I have finally been pushed to start driving and grocery shopping again. I have done neither of those things since August 1st, 2006. How freaking sad is that?
Anyway. When I drove Simon to his occupational therapy appointment last Monday he was so happy. I’m going to be the chauffeur again and apparently that means “normal” to my four year old. Hey. Whatever works. I’m not a fan of the pain that driving or grocery shopping causes me, but luckily I’ve got medication that helps me out with that.

I am far past being ready to put this nightmare behind me.
And if I ever have to experience what I did last week again, I may just die.
Literally.