Nello Broke Her Foot
Well. Let me tell you that there is no better way to start a day than to wake up and then break your foot.
There really just isn’t. Trust me.
I actually broke clean through (THROUGH!) the base of my right fifth meta-tarsel.
How?
What do you mean, “How”?
I was standing on my front porch. In my pajamas. Putting out a box for the FedEx guy to come and pick up.
And you all know how dangerous a front porch can be, right?
Well… It can be. So watch out.
I was standing on BOTH of my feet, on my front porch, and I fell. I don’t know how I fell given that I didn’t trip… but I did just the same. I go to an orthopedic doctor tomorrow to see what else I need to do, besides sit on my butt, to make sure that my foot heals up properly. I swear… if I need surgery I am going to FREAK out. But hey. I don’t want to think about THAT possible nightmare now… I’m still too busy freaking out over all the pain involved in breaking bones.
So do you wanna hear about my Urgent Care experience?
Good. Because it is a gem.
This is a conversation between me and the male medical assistant.
“So what did you do?”
“I fell down.”
“Were you drunk?”
“Hahahaaha! No. But I wish I was because maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad.”
“Awww man. If you was drunk it woulda hurt TEN times worse.”
“Oh well…. I don’t drink.”
“Well you should.”
“I’ve got two kids… sooooo…..”
“Shoot. That’s WHY I drink. I got two kids too.”
—Awkward pause while this brilliant assistant x-rays my foot —–
After developing my films the guy comes back to the room, puts the films up against the light box and says, “Awwww man… that’s broke. You broke that good.”
Nice huh?
So right about now I am going to take my broke foot back to my bed because HOLY CRAP! It is throbbing like you would NOT believe and the vicodin is wearing off.
By the way.
I fully expect many a flower delivery from all of my internet friends.
And I really hope I am not disappointed. 
48 Comments »
Oh, no!!!! I’m so sorry. Life is getting more dangerous all of the time.
Hope your foot heals quickly! Flowers, huh? Well, maybe. BUT don’t break the other foot answering the door! ;P
I could only imagine what a broken foot feels like. When I got hurt at the concert I thought I was going to die and it wasn’t even broken. Wanna hear something funny and then sad too…not as sad as your broken foot though. I was at the beach on Monday and I SWEAR I saw that Dallas Rains newscaster guy at the beach doing a story. I swear it was him. Fake looking tan and everything. Now the sad part. Stupid dumb ass me forgot to bring my sunscreen lip stuff and I got burned BAD. Today I wake up to one big fat blister the size of Texas on my bottom lip. Literally it takes up my whole bottom lip. Talk about ugly! Anyway, hope my stories took the pain way from your foot while you were reading it anyway! Take lots of vicodine and get better!
Two days ago, walking across my driveway with the hubby and kids, I fell flat on my face. I have no idea how. I didn’t trip. I was just WALKING. The fall was so freaky, it scared my youngest who started sobbing. I tore the knee of my capris and scraped what looked like 3 layers of skin off of my knee cap. Oh, and a nice bruise on my cheek. Luckily, no broken bones. This time. Now, let me start looking for that florist….
Thank you for the evil porch warning. I have one now too…Just moved in a few months ago. If they are rebelling, I need to know.
I am sorry about your foot. But crap what an idiot technician at the hospital! Where do they find these people? Did you at least laugh when you retold the incident. It is quite funny. Not funny that you hurt yourself but funny that you would have maybe the most idiotic x-ray tech known to woman. That would be me too. Makes for fantastic blogging!
Oh man Nello.
Broken Nello – that sucks. I don’t imagine that this made it any easier to sleep on top of it all.
Sending wishes your way for a speedy recovery babe but I have to admit I am secretly delighted it was only your foot. I would have missed my daily(ish) chuckle if you had broken hands or fingers.
Keep smiling and at least you didn’t miss the B word eh?
*HUGS*
OMG, Nello!!! You poor thing!
Are you feeling a little bit better? I thought I was the only one who did things like that…
Feel better, k?
Good luck with the orthopaedist.
LBC
Oh no! Well, at least you didn’t break it before BlogHer, right?
I think your x-ray tech needs the number for AA. I’ve never had a medical professional try to convince me to drink before.
Hope the break isn’t too serious and you’re better soon!
Sorry Kelly, I wish I were there to help you with your kids…..take care:) lisa
Ouch! Sorry to hear that!!
I’m accident prone, too, but I have yet to break a bone. It’ll happen one day, I’m sure.
Get well soon!
I sort of sent flowers….. =)
I hope you get well soon. I broke mine a couple of years back when my son got excited playing a video game and sat down hard on my foot.
Get better and rest up.
My best friend broke hers by tripping on her pajama pant leg. Was running from the bedroom to the porch when it started raining and just tripped and broke her ankle “clean”. I hope you feel better and I am sending you dozens of mental roses. Or dozens of roses in mental images. Not crazy roses
I couldn’t find your email address to send you an email-get-well-card. And I don’t have your address to send you real flowers. But I really really hope that you feel better and just know that I am a big klutz like that too. My husband is never shocked when I trip in mid-air. He says I have rubber ankles. LOL. Feel better and i guess now you’ll have a lot of interesting stuff to blog about. ROFL
well that sucks big time! i’ll have to get the rs on a dinner schedule for you!
look out here come the casseroles and lasagna…seriously if you need ANYTHING call me and i’d love to help you out however i can. hope you feel better soon!
OUUUUUUUCH! Thats sucks Nello!!
Ah man… that really sucks! I’ve never broken anything before… but have dislocated my knee once. If it feels anything like that I feel for you. Hope it heals quick and well (and you don’t need surgery).
~ Froggie
oh no! take a sharpie and write “tess” on your cast for me, wouldja?
Your toes look lovely by the way, they look like OPI Chicago’s “Grape Lakes!”
I hope the pain goes away soon!
OMFG! SHUTUP!!!!!! ahhh darlin- at least it wasn’t broken for blogher, eh?!?! FEEL BETTER!
Hang in there Kelly! Sorry that happened to you!
(atleast your toes look lovely!)
Love and Hugs-
Jill
Oh noooo!
Hope you’re able to rest it and relax, at least a little xxxx
Um…Kelly!!! I feel like I just saw you (which I did) and now you went and broke your foot?! Owwiee.
I really hope you get better soon and that YOU DON’T have to have surgery.
Your conversation sounds like a ton of conversations I’ve had with people at my urgent care. Strange. Very strange.
:0) Virtual hugs and chocolate. Sorry sweetie.
oh kelly I am so sorry to hear that you broke your foot
my dad did that a few years ago … he tripped over some uneven sidewalk when out for a stroll … took a while to heal if memory serves
hopefully it will heal quickly all on its own and surgery will never even be an issue
SO SORRY! I don’t want to say it, but i’m ceasing to be amazed by the way your body betrays you – how much does that suck?!
/
|
/ \ this hug will have to do as my flower budget is negative.
lol
k, the hug didn’t so much look the same after being published…
Oh, Nello! You continue to prove time and time again… you ARE my twin! I’m too poor to send flowers, but I do have some pretty strong pain killers
(Oh yeah… GET WELL SOON!)
Man, stupid front porch gets me everytime.
So, if I break my foot I get vicodin? sounds do-able;)
Get better! That sucks.
So sorry Nello!!!
hugs your way~~
That really sucks! Sorry.
Sidenote 1: That guy got through tech school and never learned how to properly speak English. It must be all the booze.
Sidenote 2: your toes look EXACTLY like mine. That is wierd! Maybe we’re distantly related. Ha ha ha
Awww! I really hope you don’t have to have surgery. Try to relax as often as the kiddies will let you. Feel better soon!
So glad I don’t have a porch!
I hope you get on the mend soon!
Shannon
NELLO!
We abso positively cannot get together in real life, because I think that a clumsy black hole would form. I actually broke my patella one time WRITING a paper.
Feel better! Take lots of vicodin!
Oh, that really stinks! Sorry about your broken foot. Hope it heals fast. I was going to send you an e-card, but didn’t want you to end up spammed. Had a cute one all picked out and everything. So just visualize one instead.
OK that really sucks! Sorry to hear about your broken foot. I hope you get some great meds for it.
I hope you feel better soon!
Ouch! Rest up!
I love the customer service of some medical “professionals”. Oy.
Oh wow, I know how much that has to hurt. It’s ok, I once fell off my curb and broke all of my toes! I’m sure it was nowhere near as painful as yours, but just as graceful! I hope you feel better and that your kids go easy on you.
oh kelly! i can’t believe it! i have to drink occasionaly (ok.. a lot!) and i only have 1 child.
hope you feel better soon!!
Oh my gosh, that SUCKS! But maybe you can milk it for some pampering, at least
Hi. I once fell out of a cabin door by just opening up the door and stepping out. I twisted my ankle completely around. And I never tripped, stumbled or anything other than soberly opened up the door and took a step down. I fell your pain. I really really do.
OMG, you poor thing. I know we just met, but if you need anything this weekend, please let me know. REALLY.
Hopefully, you can do some things online in your neck of the woods, like grocery shop.
Poor Nello!
That is awful! But I concur with the other commenters who complimented your lovely pedicure. I could never take pictures of my toes, even if they were at the end of my cast. Isn’t it weird how adults can look sideways at a piece of wood and end up with a broken foot and kids (okay, at least my daughter) can run her head into our brick fireplace at least 500 bazillion times and come out unscathed?
The flowers (virtual) are in the mail!
Oh man! I know just how that feels. Only I did mine getting out of bed. Yep, you heard it right. I think sometimes that the home is the most dangerous of places!
you said “vicodin” and I suddenly became jealous of you and your broken foot.
You poor thing!!! I hope you feel better soon and that it doesn’t involve surgery.
Damn those porches! Damn them to hell!
Sending you a virtual bouquet of yellow roses to cheer you up! So sorry you broke your foot.
Take your vicodin and enjoy the land of la la ! 
Stopping by to check on you and your footsie!
Ya know…I’m needing a Nello fix. Your foot is broken…not your hand. Start typing woman!
Kelly, bless your little heart. You poor baby!
I think it is obvious that an invisible alien ran up on your front porch and knocked you down in order to see what happens when humans fall down unexpectedly! (How’s that for an explanation!!).
You are not a loser, you are a gifted and wonderful woman. So, lift up that chin and smile. You are loved.
Oh no! I’m sorry about your foot! I’ll have to watch out for my porch from now on
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