Okay. I get it.
I do. I really do.
None of you really want to know anything about the “B” word. It’s been done.
It’s been over-done.
And you know… that is seriously a-okay with me.
I can’t really wrap my mind around the whole experience anyway.

I took four pictures at the B-word.
FOUR.
And here’s two of them in which Lena and I try to take a decent picture.

What do you think? Did we succeed?

I hung out with Lena and Vi for the most part. (Shocking, I know.) We had our usual good times and innapropriate conversations regarding all things NOT p.c. (Again with the shock.)

I met Renee from Selfish Behind the Scenes and I am SO happy to have met her. Her blog is serioulsy hilarious but she is even more so in real life!!! Just move on over to her blog right now so that she can tell you about the disappointing hotel we stayed in. But allow ME to tell you that she is the pickiest eater I have ever encountered in my life. And that is saying something because I am Mother to Simon (a.k.a. He who will not eat ANYTHING that his Mother wants him to). Renee has never eaten an avacodo. Not even guacamole. My mind will never understand this…. but I love her anyway.

I hung out quite a bit with The Daring One. You all think she is funny on her blog? Uh… hang with her in real life. You will find even MORE of the funny. We really bonded on our way to eat dinner one night when I got to witness a bedtime serenade to her daughter. I believe the song was “I’m wishing” from Snow White and I can attest to the fact that Laylee thinks her Mother is a complete rock star. Because after that rendition, I totally think the SAME thing.

I ran into Christina from A Mommy Story at one of the cocktail parties. Can I just tell you that this woman is seriously so cool?!!! Her blog is really pretty fabulous and I love it that she is the same fabulous in real life. I wish I could have hung out with her more but there were so many freaking people there that we only ran into each other twice.

I also ran into Jennster!
What? Who’s Jennster???

She’s only the life of the party! How could you NOT know?

Aside from the experiences that I wrote about above, I really felt quite out of place and awkward. I really love the internet community to which I belong. It consists of a very diverse group of people who make me feel right at home. And for that, I wanted to say thanks.

I also wanted to damn you all to a very hot place for not being in San Jose this weekend…
I will try my best to forgive.

Ah…. The week with NO sleep!
Thank heaven above that it is OVER.

This week, as you may or may not know, I got a home security system installed in my house. The kid that installed the system gradutated from the same high school as me. Exciting, no? I think so only because I graduated high school in Peoria, Arizona and I now live in California. I just thought this was incredibly random…. also incredibly sad. This kid graduated in 2004. I, on the other hand, graduated in 1996. Needless to say… I felt a little old and DATED.

I had a visit to my aesthetician the other day. Yes. I am one of those. I am one of those that likes to pay someone to RIP hair out of my skin. I was laying on the table and the thoughts that ALWAYS crosses my mind when I am there made it’s appearance.
“Why do I do this to myself? This hurts EVERY time. Why can’t I be one of those people that DON’T have unwanted hair? I want to be one of those people… Or I should just get that laser hair removal that I’ve been hearing about….” And then the wax gets applied, the rip is executed (GAH!), and it is over.

I braved the toy store ALONE with both of my kids this week. I really have to hand it to myself here. I was IN a toy store with two kids and I made it OUT without and major melt-down. WAHOO! I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my children for giving me a reason to think that I could possibly leave the house again with them. Alone. To run errands.

I got myself lost last night while driving to San Jose. Yeah. That was fun. I was supposed to take an exit called “Mission Blvd”. Easy, right? Nope. Too bad Google Maps didn’t tell me that there were TWO exits called “Mission Blvd”. Obviously I took the first Mission Blvd which also happened to be the WRONG Mission Blvd. When I finally got to where I wanted to go I got myself lost again. I drove past my hotel TWO.TIMES. I drove up and down the road and I am telling you that the hotel would become IN.Visible when I would happen upon it. Good thing I have a cell phone and Tyson has satellite Google Maps.

Alright kids.
I gotta go.
I am at some random conference in San Jose and I am here to LEARN.
Which means that I now need to pay attention!!

1. I will always be emotionally sensitive.
Even though I like to act tough… I’m not.
I wish I was though. That would be cool.

2. I will always have a hard time with sleep.
Which is why over the counter sleeping drugs and I will ALWAYS be good friends.

3. I will never be able to hang with fake people.
They creep me out and make me all queasy.

4. I won’t ever like big crowds of people.
Anxiety, anyone?

5. I will always love the color red.
A tropical red though… not a tomatoe red or an orange-y red.
See? I am really picky about my reds.

6. I will never feel that I have enough clothes, shoes, or purses.
I am, and always will be, a GREAT consumer.
Tyson always likes to say that his wife “likes to consume.”

7. I will never EVER be a morning person.
This is one that I will never come to terms with because there will ALWAYS be mornings.

8. I will always be obsessed with people’s teeth.
They are the FIRST thing that I look at on anyone.
I blame it on my dental days.

9. I will always watch movies so that there will be background noise.
I don’t know why I do this… but if I am doing any mindless work, I have GOT to have a movie on.

10. I will always love puzzles.
When I was a kid, my Dad gave me many nicknames.
I hated all of them.
The one I secretly loved though… was “Puzzle Queen”.

11. I will never like seafood.
Not ever. Leave that stuff in the sea, is what I’m sayin’.

12. I will always love gardening.
I’m like a Hobbitt… I “have a love for things that grow”.

13. I will always feel that I should be living somewhere by the ocean.
And not in the middle (sortof) of this huge state that I currently live in.
(It is freaking hot here and I want OUT!)

If you would like to use the auto link code, clicky here. Oh. And please be sure to donate to the cause. I am sure a lot of work is going into keeping this service up and running.

I am sooooo going to sleep tonight!!!
Why?
Because I got myself a home security system today!!!!

That’s right.
I’m not messin’ around with being freaked at night anymore.
I’m armed with motion detectors and door magnets now.
I have the cops on DIGITAL SPEED DIAL!!!
It’s all about peace of mind people.
And now I have it.

Now… to explain the new design up in this joint…
All I’m putting out there with this design is if you mess with me (Hello! Nasty anonymous commenters!) I will freaking turn my blue-fire throwing robot on you.
…That’s all I’m saying.

I can’t sleep when Tyson is out of town.
I just can’t. I’ve tried and tried but….
I always FREAK myself out.

Last night (or early this morning at about 3:30 am) I got up out of my bed to check ALL the locks on ALL the doors. I was hearing noises and I thought I would give myself a little peace of mind. I checked one of the sliding glass doors and lo and behold, the freaking door is UNLOCKED and slightly OPEN.
Commence with the endless screaming inside my head.

I used to live ALONE once upon a time.
Once upon a time I fell asleep with no one in my house with absolutely ZERO problem. (Well… besides the insomnia…)

You see… this is one of the secrets about marriage that people don’t tell you.
“They” don’t tell you that once you get married your old “I’m tough crap, I can sleep alone” attitude would FLY out the window.
Seriously. It just FLIES out the window.
You can almost see it leave.

Back to my story….
I didn’t fall asleep until around 4:30 am.
Nice.
And do you see the time down there?
It doesn’t look like I’m going to have a lot of sleep tonight either.

He needs to come home.
Now.

Simon is hilarious.
He is three and he is HILARIOUS.

Oh. He’s also random.

I was putting him to bed the other night and he was holding onto his beloved Chicken Little stuffed animal. I said, “I love you Simon-boy” and gave him a kiss. He wanted Chicken Little to kiss mommy too and I thought that this was so cute that I just had to kiss him again.
Simon looked at me with the biggest grin on his mug and very clearly said,
“Now that’s closure.”

WHA….?
Aaaaa-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!