Well.
The hives are back.
I feel like crap once again.
Headaches, sore throat, indigestion (read: diarrhea.), achiness, tiredness….
I think those are all my symptoms. WebMD can’t even help me at this point.
Great.

The hives actually never really went away… they just stopped popping up every day and started popping up every four or five days. I thought they would just phase themselves right on out of my life. I thought wrong.
Now they pop up every day. And they itch and hurt real bad once again.

My personal ban on Doctors, so I can use my co-pay for something else, has officially ended. I go to the dermatologist on Wednesday to see if a specialist can enlighten me as to why I have fallen victim to two months of hives. (Not to mention a life of scars from said hives.)

Monday sucked.
I am so glad that the clock just turned past midnight to make it Tuesday.
Not only did my hives get worse yesterday, but Helene threw up, Simon had a diarrhea attack, and I sliced my finger open with my new scissors.

(That is what I get for trying to use knife-edged scissors while sick and groggy.)

You want to see the cut?
Check it:

And that up there? That is only after twenty or so minutes of bleeding and applied pressure so that the skin would fuse back together. And oh. Did I mention that it hurt?… And that I may or may not have used a level two cuss word? (Well… maybe it was like six or seven of those forbidden words…)

So blah blah blah…. We had a red letter Monday.
One to put down in the books.

See?
These are the latest designs.
These designs prove that even though I have been sick as a dog the last three days, that I work anyway.
That’s right. Sick.as.a.dog. And. I work anyway.
Well… truth be told, most of the work on these two designs were done before I got sick again.

Just some info on these two designs:
Both of these mark a few firsts for me.

The design for Liz (the very top design) is the very first blog that I created sideboxes for. When you go and see the design, you will know what I am talking about. You can find them in her sidebar. Anyway. I think they are fabulous and I plan on doing more in the future.
The design for Rhonda is the very first Typepad design that I have ever done. A learning experience for sure. For Rhonda’s blog all I did was create her banner image and tweak the width of her page. A friend of Rhonda’s did the artwork for the banner and it looks great!

Go see them, go praise them, just go check them out already!

I got this post idea from Liz.
She asked, “What’s your profile picture story?”
I don’t know why I felt compelled to answer… Because my story is certainly not funny, or cute, or even heartwarming.
The word for my story would be: Bittersweet (but more on the bitter side.)

That man up there, my friends… That is my brother.
That is my only brother.
His name is Jimmy.
I have four sisters. Feel free to feel badly for Jimmy. Everyone usually does.

That picture was taken at my Jimmy’s wedding one year ago.

Growing up, Jimmy and I were really pretty good friends. We played basketball together, we did the park thing, the bike thing, the fort thing…
We even played with He-Man toys and Skeletor’s castle together.
But the most fun thing we ever did was torture our baby sister Mary. We were really very very good at that! We threw her in our pool on a very regular basis. (Winter, fall… it didn’t matter how cold it was. In fact, the colder the better.)
We loved to hide her in the clothes hamper when she was a toddler, tell her we were playing hide and seek….. and then. We would leave her there. Good times.

Anyway. We got older.
We hardly ever talk anymore.
I would say that in a good year we talk on the phone about five times and possibly see each other once. And like I said… that is in a good year.
He used to be hilarious.
He’s not anymore.
He seems to be pissed on a regular basis, actually.

This is the best picture we have taken together since we were kids.
The boy is actually smiling.
He doesn’t smile a lot anymore… and certainly not in pictures. I know it is his wedding and all… but seriously. We were all just hoping to see him happy. And he was. And that was great.

I miss him.
I miss the kid I grew up with.
I don’t know what happened to him, but I want him to come home.

Last Friday I did this and I was serious when I said I was going to do it again.
Here are the mundane details of my week:

1. Attended a Pampered Chef party with Holly. I bought this, this, this and this. I am very excited.
2. Diary of the Nello received its very first anonymous creepy comment. It went something like this: “You know that people with foot f**ishes love your layout?” To Anonymous: I have a few problems with this comment. One of them being that the foot in my graphic up there… is owned by my 18 month old. So if what you say is true… I am officially creeped out. And to all you people that are here and loving my graphic in a not so cool way…. Leave. Leave right now. That foot up there is a baby’s foot! So ICK to all of you! (BTW: please please please do not use those “f” words in the comments section to this post. I DO NOT want any searches coming up with those “f” words. I really wanna keep those people away from here if you know what I’m sayin’.)
3. Learned that Helene does not think that her Dad should hug me in her presence. Tyson and I were hugging in front of her and she sauntered up, managed to squeeze her little body in between us, started pushing us apart, all the while shouting “Noooooooooo”. She is serious. Her Dad is her property and hers alone and that is that. I looked down at her and said, “Hey. This was mine before you came along so you are just gonna have to deal.” Let’s just say that she was not a fan of this information and she has had a problem with me ever since.
4. My right eye started swelling up on Tuesday night and I had a nervous breakdown. I thought for sure that my eye was going to swell to the size of a baseball just like it used to when I was a kid. (Long story short: My eye would swell up to an enormous size, doctors really didn’t know why, but I had to get shots in my eye to make the swelling go down. I was made fun of mercilessly by my three very mean older sisters.) Anyway. My eye just stayed puffy for a few days and went away. Pretty anti-climactic, I know. But. The nervous breakdown…. that was serious. I could not stop crying. It was a pretty pathetic scene. And no. I’m not pregnant.
5. Went to the driving range with the kids and Tyson on Monday night. Simon had a blast crackin’ the golf ball with his clubs and I was completely frustrated all night because I.suck.at.that.game.
6. Discovered that my kids look like “Dark Helmet” when they wear my pink hat.
   

And guess what? That is only part of it.
There is soooo much I keep from you people.
You have no idea…..

Thirteen Things I Just Won’t Do

1. Take out the trash.
This is Tyson’s job.

2. Change light bulbs.
Again… Tyson’s job.

3. Eat seafood.
Ick. Hate it. Hate the smell, hate the texture… Ick.
Don’t try to tell me I’m missing out either.
Because I know I’m not.

4. Big crowds.
I get all nervous and cronky. I avoid them at all costs.
Actually… this is one of the many reasons that I got married in Hawaii.

5. Drink carbonation.
Makes me sick to my stomach. The only time I drink it is when I have a stomach ache.

6. Rake leaves.
I make Simon do it.

7. Watch daytime TV.
Because there is nothing on that I want to watch. Nothing. I mean it. Not even Dr. Phil.

8. Pluck my chin hair in front of Tyson.
I’ll pluck my eyebrows… but.not.the.chin.hair.

9. Be in a good mood in the morning.
This goes against my genetic makeup.

10. Commit to a weekly exercise regimen.
Because I will fail. And I know it.

11. Subscribe to People magazine.
Because it’s expensive and I refuse to pay to read all about the popular crowd in our “Adult High School”. (Even though I am interested… but I shouldn’t be… And I’m ashamed that I am.)

12. Pay bills.
Yep. You guessed it. Tyson’s job.

13. Wear stretch pants.
Not ever.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Mar
2. Lisa
3. Gabrielle
4. Uisce
5. Katherine
6. D
7. The Idle Receptionist
8. Nicole
9. Karen
10. Mama B
11. Mama! Mama!
12. Sherri
13. Janne
14. Jen
15. Renee
16. Ms. Crystal
17. Diva La Jen
18. WendyWings
19. Chickadee
20. YellowRose
21. Dariana
22. Jade
23. Nancy
24. Ocean Lady
25. Ficklechick
26. Paisley
27. Ardice
28. Joan
29. Caryn
30. Leesa
31. Better Safe Than Sorry
32. Shelli
33. Sleeping Mommy
34. Inky
35. Krisco!!!!!!!
36. Norma

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. ItÂ?s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Thanks so much for all the nice stuff said in my previous post.
I really love what I do, but putting yourself out there is hard.
It just is.

I am, however, going to start my business very soon… (even though I am shakin’ in my boots just a tad.)
I don’t have a date as to when Nello Design will be an official business, but I am working on all the forms.

Do I sleep? Yes and no. Mostly no.
I have not been kidding when I have said that I need Tylenol PM or Nyquil to sleep.
I can’t sleep at night. I mean, I can sometimes…. But I would say that for the most part I assume I am not going to be able to sleep and I take something to help me get there.

One of my first memories as a kid is lying in my bed looking at the ceiling wondering why everyone else seemed to be able to sleep at night, but I couldn’t. I would just lay there and feel confused.
As I got older the problem got worse and I started complaining about it.
Blah blah blah.
Long story very short:
I have been to countless doctors.
I have been on countless prescriptions.
I’ve had tests done.
I’ve done a sleep study.
I’ve been in professional counseling.

Final conclusion from all of that:
I suffer from many things…. One of them being insomnia.

At this point in my life I refuse to get any more ulcers from prescription medications so I don’t take anything. I have never liked the side effects of sleeping pills and I have found that Tylenol PM and Nyquil have no side effect on me whatsoever, and they work.
Problem solved. Well… as solved as it ever will be.

Insomnia plus motherhood is hard.
But, insomnia plus motherhood plus newfound quasi-passion???? Not much harder.
I know. It was a surprise to me too. I just chalk it up to the fact that I am a happier person having found something that I really like to do. I like being a Mother but I just cant get lost in it. I know that there are Mom’s out there that can… My own Mother being one of them. But I just can’t. I start to get very unhappy when I would look at myself and see that my life is my kids and that.is.it. I need more. I know it and my husband knows it.

It was actually Tyson who suggested the blog thing to me AND the design thing. I always knew he knew me well… but this. This really showed me that he knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
He knows I am happier doing something else other than being a Mommy and he supports me in that. In fact, he pushes me to do it. You have to know, however, that I struggle with the choice to become something other than a Mom. My kids need me and I feel that immensely. I feel guilty needing more than them because they are so great…. And what is so wrong with me that they aren’t enough? They should be enough, but I just can’t do it. I, obviously, have come to terms with it though. If I’m happier, they’ll be happier. And that really is the bottom line.

Well… this post turned into something I didn’t intend.
I was gonna come on here and answer the “do you sleep” question of the DYM and Kdubs in a direct yet sarcastic way…. You know. Answer the question but make a joke so you don’t think it’s really a big deal…

But I didn’t sleep well last night… and clearly I am not in my usual sarcastic mood.